W19: Affairs

With a bold red title on a sensual background with a hint of mystery, the first glance told me everything I needed to know about this week’s Biblio-Mat book. If there was any book to judge by its cover, this one would be it.

Exactly what it advertises.

Affairs by Mary Anne Wollison, was an interesting book. One part sociological exploration, two parts instructional, and three parts smut, it seemed to be a 178 page handbook on everything one would want to know about affairs from a woman’s perspective. Published in 1982, it still had a very contemporary feel to it and the content did not date itself at all. Then again, erotic literature does tend to transcend time rather well.

The book began with an introduction on why women have affairs along with a brief history of adultery. Seemingly written by a woman for women, it gave fascinating insight into how affairs come about. It presented both positive and negative arguments to extramarital affairs but seemed to lean a bit more on the former. With an interview with Dr. Thomas, a psychologist and marriage counsellor, the book took on the stance that affairs are natural and while they might hurt a marriage, they don’t necessarily mean the end of one.

The face of a woman educated in affairs.

The next hundred pages were filled with stories from twenty different women of all walks of life recounting their sexual affairs. In explicit detail. Passed off as anecdotes and insights into the female mind, it was really more of a slightly toned down version of “Dear Penthouse”. After reading books on plane engines and book collecting for the past few weeks, this came as a nice change of pace. There were two main interesting things about this section. The first being that almost none of the women regret having their affairs. In fact, they were proud of them and any remorse they felt came from them either not doing it more or contracting some sort of venereal disease. The second thing of interest was that a great deal of the women were located in Toronto. Seeing how this book was published in Toronto and the author resided here at the time, it made sense but it also became a bit disheartening to know that infidelity runs this rampant here.

Most disturbing How-To guide I've read.

The last part of the book was the most shocking. With a chapter titled ‘The Art of an Affair’, the book became an instructional guide on how to conduct an affair down to personality quizzes to find out what would work best for you, guides on what kind of men you should pick up, and where to do it. To be fair, it does have a section on the consequences of these actions, but this section seemed to be glossed over quickly with advice such as resisting the urge to confess and if you really have to confess, confess to a friend instead of your spouse.

Everyone loves quizzes.

While I’m against affairs and the thought of cheating on a significant other bothers me greatly (being on the receiving end of this is probably the worst feeling in the world), I felt that I had to at least try to approach this subject with an open mind and dig deeper into this aspect of relationships. Registering for an account at AshleyMadison.com, a site for married people to hook up with other people, I attempted to get some first-hand information on why affairs happen from women actively seeking them. 

Perhaps I should have selected more categories.

Suffice to say that going on such a forum for meaningful conversation did not go well. There were a few propositions, a handful of explicit photos, but most replies were along the lines of ‘sex or GTFO’. Turns out this subculture does indeed exist and it disturbs me like nothing else.

Book rating: 8.5/10 (Despite me not agreeing with the subject matter, it was well written and insightful)

Random quote: “I’ve never been mixed up with a married man. It’s bad enough if one of you is married. If both of you are married it’s really a problem.” (Advice to cheat by?)

W3: H.H.: or The Pathology of Princes

The first impression of H.H. when it came out of the Biblio-Mat, was that it was dense. At just over 300 pages, it felt like a tome of sorts and read not unlike a textbook. A textbook on old school racism. A Passage to India this ain't.

Deceptive cover - everyone loves elephants.

H.H. (His Highness): or the Pathology of Princes, by Kanhayalal Gauba - a hardcover 306pg history book with a simple dustjacket, first edition published in 1930. Printed on what appears to be highly acidic paper, the pages on this copy were smooth, yellow, and starting to become brittle, which lends it an old world charm along with historical credibility.

Much as the secondary title presents itself, H.H. is an in-depth study in the princes and Maharajas of India, relating the royalty to a disease, ravaging the country. It is an immensely insightful look into the history of India, for many different reasons.

It did, however, have a cool title plate.

The introduction of the book begins with the author lamenting the choice of publishing the book or not, ultimately deciding to do so for the greater good of the world over the pride of his nation. He assures that this book isn't a sermon or vendetta, just facts as he aims to do the world a very public service in exposing the dark underbelly of India. How could you not trust such a selfless man? Surely he only means to enlighten us!

Even the dustjacket is smarmy.

Covering topics in fine detail on how Indian royalty hoard wealth, starve citizens, rape women, corrupt governments, and indulge in all manners of wasteful decadence. It is quite an educational history lesson, not in the horrors of monarchy, but actually in British Imperialism.

Published around the time of India's independence, H.H. is an amazing study in propaganda. Without a doubt the atrocities described in the book did exist (as they do in every nation), however, the presentation of these "facts" in the text is quite one-sided. However, statistics are cleverly strewn throughout to give it an air of honesty. Much like 'Birth of a Nation', the ultimate goal appears to be instilling the notion that the western world must rescue a savage race through domination, for if they were left to their own free will, the people would suffer.

The most interesting thing about this book, though, is its rarity. A quick search online displays very few results and there seems to be some disparity on how to spell the author's name. History does tend to fix itself in mysterious ways.

Book rating: 6/10 (points given for the stark cover and foldout map)

Random quote: "The ordinary constables, the rank and file of the police force, are drawn from the very scum of the population, and hardly one in a hundred of these knows how to read or write." (NWA in the 30's?)

W2: Nouveau Dictionnaire De Sexologie V.5

L’Introduction (subst. fém): It did not occur to me that the Biblio-Mat dispenses books in other languages but I guess that wouldn’t be truly random if it didn’t. A French encyclopedia on sex is as interesting as one would imagine. 

Classy cover. Unless that's a nipple.

 Le Livre (subst. fém): A 1979 208pg softcover with an art deco minimalist cover that lends it an artistic quality. For a used book that could be classified as erotica, it was thankfully stain-free and clean; though I was too afraid to pass it under a black light (ignorance is truly bliss at times). The first thing I noticed was the inclusion of 16 glossy pages containing colour plates of erotic art. My thirteen year old self would have had a self-discovery field day. My current self was more fascinated by the printing method. 

Ceci n'est pas un visage.

 Le Texte (subst. masc.): Unfortunately, my French reading comprehension is about 70% so reading this novella-sized book took a few days longer than expected. On the plus side, it turned into a game of filling in the blanks and those that know me know that my mind doesn’t frequent the gutter - it lives in it, surfacing once every three days for food and fresh sheets. It also helped that I had volume five (J-M), which contained 25 solid pages on Japan.

They were kinky even before the internet.

Written in short and easily digestible passages, it reads fast, even for a non-native French reader. As I made my way through the entries, I was impressed by the inclusion of many things. Jack the Ripper, Carl Jung, Kinsey, D. H. Lawrence, and Madagascar all had expansive entries. Clearly I was wrong in thinking this was just cleverly disguised smut. This book does indeed have some educational value!

However, when I hit the entries pertaining to sexual techniques, body parts, and spiritual beliefs, it is quickly apparent how very outdated this book is. The section on lesbianism may be a bit misogynistic in the same way that the Mariana Trench may be a bit deep. One must definitely take the “historical facts” with a grain of salt. I would also highly recommend not following any medical advice on hygiene or contraception from this book.

La Conclusion (subst. fém): 7.5/10 (bumped to 8 if I ever find the rest of the series)

La Citation (subst. fém): Les satisfactions sexuelles que deux femmes peuvent tirer de leurs rapports présentent une gamme à peine inférieure aux satisfactions hétérosexuelles, sans qu'il soit possible de se prononcer sur leur intensité.